What is real happiness and can it be measured by success? Most people I know say they will be happy when……, however that when, that is supposed to bring that sought after desire and drive for happiness in life, appears to be hopelessly always unattainable, and even ghostlike
Happiness is almost as elusive as sailing out hoping to reach the horizon; but is it really like that? I think there can be happiness if we adjust or move the benchmark and measuring stick, by adjusting our thoughts a bit.
At times one may say oh if I can just get that job I will be happy, or if I can just get married I will be happy, or even let there be more zeros in my account then I will be happy. But can any of those things really make anyone happy? It may have the ability to make you satisfied,or feel successful but may never truly make you happy.
A quick look at any evening news, and the negative things that are being broadcasted may have you thinking that wow, I am not that badly off after all. But then again this is a pitfall, as it measures your own happiness against something.
Ok, I am going somewhere with this, so what if the evening news broadcasted someone or a group of people receiving a huge lotto payout; you may be then tempted to say that you wished it was you. Would you then begin to feel sorry for yourself, remember your own bank balance and feel unhappy?
What I am saying is that happiness should not be measured against some yardstick that keeps moving. One key thing to attaining happiness is the element of being grateful for what you have. This is independent of any situation or circumstance. If for example I am happy about my grades, I am first thankful I didn’t fail. I am not happy about the grade because it was the highest; what if it was actually the lowest? Which personally is usually the case. If my happiness depends on knowing who got what grade, then I am comparing myself with someone else, and that would make me unhappy.
So let us look at another side, what if I actually got a failing grade, should I then be unhappy? No not at all, the event failed not me, I never consider myself a failure. I will just attempt the event again and again till the event is successful; And be grateful for each time I am allowed to try again, grateful for another chance to learn more, and to improve myself.
I see it an an opportunity to keep adding to my knowledge.
Think about it, how many great discoveries happened right the first time. What about all those medical researchers, who for so many years were looking for the cure for some diseases, and have not found many of them, what if they thought they were failures. They simply say the experiment failed, and they never equate the failure of an event with themselves personally. If they were unhappy no one would be a scientist and want to research, then were would we be?
And now the matter of love, so just because the love affair didn’t work out so now you think that you are justified to feeling unhappy. Ok, when you are finished crying how about being grateful for the lesson, and learn from what has happened. Of course no one sets out to be heartbroken, but no one goes to the ER because of a broken heart. Yes you are free to call him names, and sulk and eat all the ice cream you want, but even in that, be grateful that time is there and you can love again. Be grateful that you could walk away, in some societies walking away is not possible, think about it.
If you say oh, but what of the wasted years, believe me you can still be happy if you let go of the anger, and be grateful in-spite of those wasted years. How is that even possible you may ask, well you can decide to help someone from your own bad experience, and find happiness in sharing what happened to you, this could be positive information in someone’s life, a game changer of sorts, and you would help that person avoid the hurts and pains you suffered.
Think about it, your bad experience being used to help others avoid bad situations.
Rather than suffer in silence, lighten your own load by sharing what you have learned to positively impact someone else, and just this small thing will definitely open the doors for happiness to come in.
You can see success in someone because of you, and this could definitely make you happy. Though your own story was negative, your sharing of your experiences may positively impact someone’s journey to finding true love, and they may have a great love story because of you. You can be grateful that you have influenced someone’s life in a positive way. Could that not make you happy? You could start a group and call it, How to spot a player!
In my view happiness is not measuring yourself against some time-frame or yardstick but, happiness is “having the ability to be grateful for your life in-spite of all that has happened; while positively impacting someone by sharing your own story, mentoring, and watching someone succeed because of you." MayahRose
"I believe in love and all it stands for." MayahRose🌹